Jitters, excitement, melancholy, anxiety, anticipation. There are probably not enough adjectives to sum up the crazy bundle of emotions I felt during my five days long wedding week.

We flew from Toronto to Edmonton, as that’s where the wedding and all the various other events were taking place and I recall feeling a lump in my throat as the plane took off from my beloved city. A few days before I was to leave, I remember looking around my bedroom and old photo albums full of childhood memories and tears just streamed down my face and I didn’t even realize until something cold struck my thumb. Super dramatic lol but everything around me seemed preciously sentimental and it’s so very difficult to put in to words how challenging it was to entertain the notion of celebrating one of my most special days away from a place I call home. Let’s not even go to the emotions I felt every time I thought about my parents and my small but amazing extended family; truckloads of tissues will be required.

The silver lining, though, was that all my friends and my family were coming together after a long time to be a part of this, putting their lives on hold and I eagerly looked forward to seeing them all again and celebrate the week long madness, AKA, my wedding!

Day 1 | Bridal Shower

I woke up to find my bridal suite decorated in what it seemed like a tea party themed setup and my family and friends decked up to welcome me and saying that I was surprised will truly be an understatement. I was nothing short of amazed to see what they turned my suite in to within a matter of few hours. While I was aware that they were planning a bridal shower party for me which didn’t get to be a surprise for too long thanks to the quiet murmurs and floating birdies but boy I had no idea what was to come my way. The decor, games, those scrumptious pastries and finger bites and just the overall attention to little details blew my mind away. During one of the games, as I was laughing through my tears at some hilarious joke that one of the weirdos had cracked, I remember pausing midway and looking around the room. At that moment, I truly felt blessed to have all my loved ones gathered in that room who loved me unconditionally and could go to any length for my happiness. This was truly a day full of fun, laughter, shared secrets and uninhibited energy.

Day 2 | Mehendi

Mehendi is an integral component of any South Asian wedding, but to me it meant so much more than just a ceremony. It was reminiscent of my childhood when we would all gather on our rooftop in Dhaka on the nights before Eid where everyone would be applying henna on each other. Ah those good ol’ innocent and silly times. Needless to say, I was super excited to get my arms adorned in henna and secretly hoped that the stain would take a shade of dark rouge which is just how I preferred 😜. My bridal suite was turned in to a henna station, with colorful pillows splayed across the floor, everyone dressed up in various shades of green, and resident DJ’s (jk) who got the beats dropping.

I’ve been a big admirer of Divya, an incredible henna artist based out of Toronto and always wanted to take inspiration from one of her designs for my own wedding (only if I could have flown her all the way 😕). I picked a local henna artist for this day, a sweet girl named Asra. She left me in a state of awe and respect once she was done with me. I can only imagine the amount of patience and perseverance it takes to sit for hours and paint on someone’s arms and that too based off someone else’s design. And to add to that, the insurmountable pressure of making the bride happy and satisfied. The entire process probably took about 7 hours or so but I barely felt it thanks to my friends and family who sat there with me and entertained me throughout. What a chill day and hey never hurts to be the center of attention when all my kin and kith were at my beck and call 😁.

Day 3 | Gaye Holud (Haldi)

Cue the music and bright colors! This was probably was one of the days that I was looking forward to the most as Gaye Holud also happens to be one of my favorite Bengali events. I’ve given a lot of research and thought into the decor, food, attire and overall ambiance as I wanted it to reflect our unique and distinct culture. Most importantly, I was uber excited to see how the palanquin turned out that was hand built from scratch by Bivash (that’ll be the husband, and it’s still super strange to address him as such 😛). I was to make my entrance atop it followed by a procession of bridesmaids carrying all the gift trays and different kinds of sweets. Little diva-ish eh but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy all the eyes and paparazzi on me :D. Although, Bivash’s rickshaw might’ve taken some of that attention away from me 😉.

Our decorator did a fantastic job with the decorations and came pretty close to bringing my vision to life. Only thing that was missing was the presence of marigolds that I badly wanted in abundance as we failed to source them (times like this, I really miss what a resourceful city Toronto is).

The atmosphere itself was pretty chill, all the guests mingling and getting to know each other while munching on the delicacies that were offered. Then came the performances –  my girls were absolute STARS!!!! They knocked it out of the park with their dance and what a treat they were to the eyes!! Definitely one of the highlights of the night as they grooved and swayed amidst all the whistles and applause.

Next came the fun stuff, holud round. This is the part when all of the friends and families come to rub turmeric paste (holud) on the bride and groom’s faces and if that sounds fun to you, then clearly you’re not the bride in this scenario. Bivash and I were like the lambs ready to be smothered in holud while our bridal party were more than excited to do their part and then some. I bet they were waiting for this all night long. We had to have the most wicked group of participants in the form of friends pfft. BUT, even my most critical self can’t deny how much both of us enjoyed it. I’m just so glad that I decided against making my face a no fly zone in the last minute, it was so so worth it! Also, I got spared from being known as a party pooper for the rest of my life 😜. In all honesty though, the pictures from this day came out unreal due to the splash of yellow all over us, well lived gaye holud is all I can say ☺️.

 

Day 4 | Wedding

Chaos and Utter Madness. That’s how the morning of the wedding felt like and yet I seemed to have been enveloped in a cocoon of peace. Not sure if it was because of Bivash who snuck me out in the wee hours of the morning or my goofy bridesmaids who have been swarming all around me like I was about to get a cold feet and run away or my family who kept checking up on me. I didn’t think too much of it, just been relived to not have had a meltdown like I dreaded.

Atypical to most Bengali weddings, ours was scheduled for late afternoon (thank God for small mercies) which left us with ample amount of time to get a bridal series and getting ready photo session done. And I was so glad that our photographer recommended that as it was just so much fun to get to unwind myself and forget about everything else for sometime.

It was easy for me to decide on my wedding look as I’ve always known deep down that on my wedding day, I wanted to be a Bengali (Bangladeshi more specifically) bride in traditional red. Red benarasi saree, flower bun, red lips and red tip with contrasting emerald jewelry and bangles, some of the pieces of which I inherited from my mom as my something blue. BUT, the ultimate challenge was to create that look that I’ve always envisioned and to say I wasn’t worried would be a huge understatement. Turns out all my concerns were misplaced and I was in more than capable hands. I probably had the best pair of artists doing my hair and makeup, they were like magicians who transformed my entire bridezilla self in a span of few hours and I don’t think I’ve ever felt as beautiful as I did on my wedding day. ALSO, they happened to be just as crazy as the rest of my clan😛.

My mom and aunts were busy decking the bridesmaids for most part and rest of the family was scrambling to get things ready in time for the wedding which is why they didn’t really get a glimpse of me while I was getting my makeup done or adorning my jewelry. The revelation of my first look as a bride will forever stay etched in my heart as it was just so precious and yet so heart breaking at the same time. I remember my mom avoiding to make direct eye contact fearing that she might start crying or jinx it somehow, my dad was too choked up to talk, my aunts’ eyes were glistening with tears and love and my uncles could only wonder when their little girl grew up so much to be someone’s wife. Scared that I might just give in to the flow of emotions that I was feeling at their response, I excused myself quickly to join my friends in the car waiting to take us to the venue.

As I waited patiently in the room adjacent to the wedding venue for Bivash to make his grand entry riding on a horse, I got a moment’s breath to just take everything in. All my bridesmaids were bustling to get everything ready to block the door prior to Bivash’s entry. It’s a highly comical, age old tradition where the groom has to haggle his way in and literally pay to score the bride :p. Makes for some great laughter with all the silly quizzes and games and not to mention all the cash that bride’s friends and family walk out with :D. Anyways, that left just me and my mom in the room, sitting in comfortable silence and peace as we watched Bivash arrive with his procession of family and friends through the glass window.

And before I knew it, I had to make my entrance. I found myself fidgeting, heart racing, palms sweating, losing some of that poise and composure I had earlier. As I took trembling steps toward the flower canopy (created by the husband as well, and yep I’m a lucky girl) and positioned myself below it with my bridesmaids holding it over me, my entry music to Latika’s theme soundtrack reverberated through the room, signal to finally make that walk down the aisle. Slowly but steadily I made my way into the hall where Bivash was sitting at the alter with my dad and as soon as I looked up, our eyes locked. I’ll never forget that look in his eyes, one of overwhelming love and admiration. And everyone and everything around me just disappeared, at that moment time stood still and it was just the two of us in there and that’s all that mattered.

My mom escorted me to the alter and I took my seat next to Bivash and we looked at each other and smiled. I felt like I was home and definitely not for the first time. Contrary to my fear, the wedding rituals didn’t seem to last very long at all. Everything happened so quick, I vaguely remember us chanting the mantras after the priest, taking seven steps around the fire pit, exchanging garlands and rings followed by the vermilion ceremony and just like that, in the blink of an eye, we became husband and wife. What a profound moment and yet to this day, all that remains is a blur.

It was a week filled with the sweetest sweets, the spiciest savouries, the warmest smiles, the happiest tears, and the kindest words strung together in perfect harmony. Despite feeling so much stress leading up to the day while trying to perfect all the things, we’re finding ourselves still lost in memories and urging to hang on a little longer to all the love and beauty from that week.

 

 

 

 

“Since we met it’s been you and I
A tear for a tear, baby eye for an eye
And you know that my heart gon’ cry
If you leave me lonely
Cuz you not just my love you my homie”
— – Lil Wayne, “Receipt”